i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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