It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
