Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
