2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish i was in the wii world.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
