i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
