Me too!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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