Operation Purity has been aborted
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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