I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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