When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
