we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
