I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
