I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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