So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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