I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
