I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
