I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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