haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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