The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
