If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize