it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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