Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
