How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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