wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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