We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
