I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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