i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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