I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
