I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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