Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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