i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
