he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
