I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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