Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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