she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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