Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
