Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize