Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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