You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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