You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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