Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
