Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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