**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize