he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
