I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
