btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I am available for nakedness
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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