WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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