Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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