apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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