Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let's get the cat blown out
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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