...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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