My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
