ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
