If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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