thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
