are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
