I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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