Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize