Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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