I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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