the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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