worst night to have a conscience
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
