I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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