I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
