So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
