Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
