your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
