I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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