My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
handjob tips. give me some.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
