Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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