but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
