she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
