If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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