I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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