i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
